Recently I have jumped around a few manual labouring jobs and had interviews and I’m starting to get confused about the etiquette of the hand-shake. I’ve also met girls at pubs, because that is what you do when you’re single and have nothing to wake up early for. Neither of my related observations are worthy of a post each, so here they both are, with the common theme of meeting people.
The Hand-Shake Arms Race
I get that a weak hand-shake immediately conveys self-doubt. But I don’t think the inverse is true: that a firm hand-shake conveys confidence. I think a firm hand-shake merely fails to communicate self-doubt, which is what you want. So a firm hand-shake will suffice.
Despite this, people are almost declaring war with their knuckle-crushing, hydraulic-vice tight hand-shakes. But you want to seem confident, so you don’t rise to the challenge of war. All you do is squeeze tighter yourself. In fact, you don’t think you’ve proven just how confident you are until the other person looks to be in as much pain as they put you in. That’s obviously what you’re meant to do, otherwise why would they have done it?
But they are also fighting back the pain and ignoring the challenges to war. So they squeeze tighter. And within seconds what you meant to be a polite (but confident) greeting has turned into a war, where both people are pretending not to have accepted the challenge.
I think the idea that men look at boobs and bums first is a myth. I think it’s a myth because I look at the face first, eyes to be specific. I do eventually let my gaze wander to boobs and bum (but preferably bum, I am very much a bum-man). But I look at a woman’s face first. I’m also a sapiosexual man, which is to say that intelligence attracts me (or, a lack of intelligence puts me off*).
But looking at a woman’s face first lets you notice what they are looking at. For the most part it’s not my face. According to my experience, neither is it my crotch (despite recent research, which I now can’t find). According to my experience, when you’re dressed, a woman looks almost immediately at your shoes. I hadn’t noticed until I bought new shoes, but a woman’s attention is grabbed by having well-maintained foot fashion.
*a lack of knowledge is not the same as a lack of intelligence, and a lack of knowledge has not been an issue. I have met very knowledgeable but unintelligent women, and I find them less attractive.