Sex-Positive Feminist

I am sex-positive. I think sex is a good thing: it is exhilarating and exciting and explorative. I like the feeling of being attracted to someone, I enjoy seeing people confident with their sexuality, it’s nice to see people who are comfortable in their skin. As long as everyone has the freedom to put up their own boundaries, sexualised environments are fun*. I am unlikely to be alone in thinking this. If I was the only person that thought this, I doubt 50 Shades of Grey would have sold, and I doubt the planet’s population would be 7 billion.

* For anyone wondering, the ping-pong shows that happen in Thailand are not sexualised environments, they are just creepy.

You could see me as a hypocrite here. I enjoy looking but because I am not confident with my body I am unlikely to be the person putting on the show. I can see how someone might consider my willingness to take, but not to give as hypocrisy.

I am also a feminist; women are equal. These are not incompatible things; being sex-positive is not akin to misogyny (and women who are sex-positive are not misandrists). The only logic I can see that would get you from ‘he’s sex-positive’ to ‘he’s a misogynist’ is the assumption that women are the feebler sex; women couldn’t handle a sexualised environment.

For a moment ignore the fact that any person can choose to leave a sexualised environment if they are uncomfortable, not in the mood, or it doesn’t seem appropriate. Are there any people who want to contest sex-positive environments in the name of feminism who can simultaneously justify why sex-positive environments are misogynistic?

I’m hiding behind the Thunderf00t/SkepChicks tension in the ‘secular community’ (whatever that is) as a reason for posting this. And that means people will raise their hackles at this post. So let me clarify what a sex-positive environment is. It is a safe place; you can dress like a nun or a sexy-nun, it’s up to you; people may get their nipples signed, but you don’t have to; people may proposition each other for sex, but “No” is the safe word; there may even be money being put in underwear, but only between people who see the funny side. It’s not a playground for rapists or lecherous people, and non-consensual behaviour has no place.

4 thoughts on “Sex-Positive Feminist”

  1. Great post. Sex positivism is by definition entirely equal and respectful to all genders and orientations. If it’s abusive or discriminatory it is not sex positivism. The way I see it anything goes as long as everyone involved is aware and consenting and having a good time 🙂

    Thanks for sharing!


    1. I completely agree. I just wanted to pull up the hypocrites that think sex positivism is in some way objectifying. You can only believe that if you think one of the genders can’t cope, and that’s exactly the mentality you are trying to stomp out if you object to overt sex positivism.
      I’m glad you liked the post!

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