I am back from Austria (for a week) and I found something my brother wrote a long time ago under the heading “What I understand of the Bible” (I have changed his name). This isn’t a criticism, or a bit of atheist writing. I just found it very funny. Enjoy.
What I understand of the Bible:
King Ebrima, whilst chillething, was attacked by a wolf-bear. “Fuck off” he said unto the bear. “Nay!” said the bear, and the bear did swipeth at him. King Ebrima withdrew his phallus from the air that he did o’ breathe and fought the bear. Again, the bear did swipeth, but the King did move and shout “Away with you, bear.” But the Bear did not, and he did swipedeth. “Why do you strike me o’ bear?” King Ebrima did reason. “Nay!” said the bear, and he did swipeth again. “I have not time for this, bear, leave your King in peace!” ; “Nay” the bear did respond and King Ebrima became anger. “This bear does speak most foully unto me!” The bear did strike the King’s chest and the king did bellow “That hurt; I am bleeding.” ; “Nay!” said the bear and with great strength grappled the great King. The King was pain and shouting and on his head wore a spiked crown. King Ebrima met faces with the bear and growl and shout “Nay!” The bear hugged the king and the king did attempt a strike with the point of his crown. Unsuccessful was his strike and the crown flew from his head! The King struggled under the grasp of the bear and the bear was no balance. The bear stepped back and the crown did puncture the bear and from that day forward King Ebrima was known as “King Ebrima The Bear Trap” and did sleep with many fine maidens. The end.