Technology Review: massage chairs

While I was at Allgeau airport I found a few Euro coins in my pocket, and you can’t exchange coins. So I obviously used the dead money on a massage chair available at the airport: €2. And it wasn’t bad. It does, rather disturbingly, remind me of the massages I give, so it’s another step towards men being redundant. Between spider-killing sprays and IVF, I’m beginning to wonder if the Y-chromosome has any purpose at all any more. Although, I am happy to report that I have one or two massage tricks that I can’t imagine a machine replacing.

No, actually. My remaining tricks are not to be outdone by a machine and are perfectly innocent. No, I won’t share them with you!

The particular chair at Allgeau airport has a few pitfalls, not just its inferiority to me. For one, it is a back-only massager. But that could easily be fixed by fitting more moving nodes. Another is that if you are anything like me you have think muscle tissue on your back, so a suits-all pressure is a bit too soft for me and I had to push back into the chair, which is not relaxing. Again, this is easily fixed by getting adjustable pressure. Lastly, it is not good at getting to your traps (the muscle that connects your shoulders to your neck). And after a few days lugging around a satchel and a luggage bag, that would have been nice.

Okay, so it couldn’t miss this guy’s traps. But the rest of us have to put up with some neglect

But it was still a nice massage. It relaxed me. I even nearly fell asleep. So the last pitfall: we don’t only get massages to relax, we also get massages to feel intimate and sensuality. Both of these are lost when you are dressed, in a hoodie, at an airport, surrounded by people, getting touched up by a machine.

Verdict: well worth my dead €2. Not replacing a massage from me, just yet.

2 thoughts on “Technology Review: massage chairs”

  1. I’m not sure what the review before me means, this massager is too strong for me! It has roller bumps that stick out and rub into your back and it hurt mine. I called in to talk about it with their customer service and they told me that this is what “shiatsu massage” means, that there are bumps or rollers or something that pushed into your muscles. I guess I wanted just a kind of massager that vibrates so I’m going to return this one. I gave 5 stars not for the product because I didn’t like it and will return it, but for the customer service I got. They took the time to explain about the different styles of massages and I guess I didn’t understand when I bought this one. If you have any questions call them BEFORE you buy, it’s really helpful. John M.

    1. I’m reviewing a chair that was available for use at an airport in Germany. It cost €2 to use and it was a shiatzu-styled massage.
      This review is meant as a bit of light-hearted fun because my blog is so often an intense discussion about religion.

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