My T-Shirts

These are my most provocative t-shirts. I don’t mean he-look-sexy-in-that t-shirts (because I look sexy in everything). I mean these t-shirts make other people want to punch me in my facial area.

I can see why other men might want to punch me in my face. These t-shirts plus a smug face.


Let me take a moment to justify these t-shirts, starting with the easiest one to defend. The grey one with the slogan “I’m a real man” is a charity t-shirt for a charity called Woman’s Aid. I used to work around this charity and I care a lot about their cause: stopping domestic abuse. The slogan “I’m a real man” ties in with their “Real Man” campaign, with the tagline “real men don’t hit women”. Coupled with this t-shirt, I got my girlfriend-of-the-time a t-shirt with a slogan that turned out to be a pun: “You can’t beat a woman” (it’s funnier when you know she was bisexual, even if I did feel a little inadequate because of it).

For the record, I don’t feel strongly about this charity because my mum was abused or anything, she wasn’t (and I wouldn’t want to slander my dad or her boyfriends like that). But I have a few friends who were on the receiving end of domestic abuse (most of my friends are female because I’m a lucky guy). So I do feel strongly about the cause. Domestics abuse is about being betrayed by the very person you trusted.

Also, “I’m a real man” was an important clarification when I was in Thailand.

The second t-shirt isn’t so noble. I just like The Punisher. He’s awesome. I love revenge plots; being wronged and finding the people responsible and making them pay. It satisfies that primal part of my psychology; it is satisfying (as is the film Four Brothers with Mark Wahlberg–another revenge film). I wouldn’t do it, because I don’t believe in retribution as a meaningful justice system, but it fits a purpose.

On top of that, The Punisher t-shirt is ever-so-slightly too small for me. And I’m a big-built guy; muscle curves and things. That exaggerates the punch-him-in-the-face message that the t-shirt seems to emit. And I emit it enough to justify boxing, Thai boxing and Wing Chun, which are great pass times.

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