I have a number of disagreements with the Bible on topics of history, science, ethics, the role of women and equality of people. I even disagree with the Bible at length about sexual practices, particularly what the LGBTX community can and cannot get up to. But, given a little lenience on the language, I have at least one very solid agreement with the Bible: sex in a committed relationship.
The Bible talks of sex inside of a marriage, and therefore (as we’re using the Bible’s definition of a marriage) between a man and a woman. But if we were to take the advice the Bible offers and extend it across all committed sexual relationships then I think the Bible actually says a lot of good things. Obviously, I am going to disagree with a lot of Christians here, because I think the advice can be extended to homosexual relationship and even openly polygamous or polyandrous relationships. (Be careful to note what I did and did not say there: it must be an openly polyamorous relationship; there cannot be any deceit in how the relationship is functioning. Personally, I don’t think I could be a part of a polyamorous relationship.)
The Bible actually suggests that sexual selfishness is sinful. Isn’t that fantastic? 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 talks of the body of each person belonging to the other person in the relationship and their obligation to give unto their partners their sexual rights. 1 Peter 3:1-7 talk of “giving honour” (King James) or “treating wives with consideration” (NET Bible), which is difficult to interpret other than also making sure the woman gets her rocks off. If one will join me in being liberal enough to accept that when the Bible talks of “marriage” any committed relationship will suffice, we have a new epidemic of sin to consider: men don’t finish the job! This seems expressly commanded against in the Bible, but most of my friends are female and they assure me their partners sin against them with unholy regularity. I challenge you to read Philippians 2: 1-2 without agreeing this is precisely what it says when it talks of “any comfort from love”.
I’m quite happy to speculate that if we all spent a little more time in bedrooms and kitchens throughout the land making sure our partners were thoroughly seen too, many of the world’s problems would start to evaporate.