Funnies

The difference between risk and hazard is that there’s no gamble if there’s no hazard.

Languages I can count to 10 in

English

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Thai

Neung, soeng, sahm, see, hah, hok, jet, baet, gao, sip.

French

Une, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix.

Sex

Uh, ooh, ah, ah, … ah, uhn, yeah, oh, gnnnn, nuh

Gym

*grunt*, *grunt*, *grunt*, *grunt*, *grunt*, *gruuuuuuuuuuuunt*, *… grunt*, *grunt*, no, *grunt*

Limericks

There was a truck driver named Hunt,

Who was given an engine to shunt.

He saw a runaway truck,

Yelled out duck,

And saved the life of the fellow in front.

– Christopher Hitchens

Ode to my Wife

There was a man from Australia,

Whose poetry was often a failure.

It went along fine,

Until the fifth line,

My wife is awesome.

– Comments on a SourceFed video.

There was a young woman from Bude,

Who went swimming in a lake.

A farmer took a punt,

And hit her in the ear

And said “you can’t swim here, it’s private.”

– Unknown

I just wanted to use the quick-post option.

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